Feeling constantly on edge, emotionally exhausted or numb may be more than “just stress.” These sensations can indicate that your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is dysregulated, unable to switch smoothly between its sympathetic (“fight or flight”) and parasympathetic (“rest and digest”) branches. Chronic stress, trauma, sleep deprivation, illness, burnout and stimulants can trigger this imbalance[1]. When the ANS stays stuck in survival mode, it continually sends stress signals, leading to physical, emotional and cognitive symptoms such as heart palpitations, digestive issues, anxiety, depression, memory problems and difficulty concentrating[2][1]. The good news is that the nervous system is plastic, so it can be retrained to regain balance and resilience. This article explains how.

If you’re anything like my clients, you might be nodding along. I spent years in therapy understanding my pattern... why I froze, fawned or shut down, yet still felt hijacked in the moment. I could name every trigger and still hear myself soften my voice or add a disclaimer when I asked for what I needed. It wasn’t until I began to feel the language of my own body, the tightness in my chest, the urgency to appease, that things started to shift. In other words, insight alone didn’t stop my survival responses; nervous‑system literacy did. If that resonates with you, you’re not alone, and you’re in the right place.

Understanding the Autonomic Nervous System and Polyvagal Theory

Nervous System States in Polyvagal Theory

Your nervous system is divided into the central nervous system (brain and spinal cord) and the peripheral nervous system (nerves that branch out to the body). Within the peripheral system sits the autonomic nervous system (ANS), which regulates involuntary functions like heart rate, digestion and hormonal responses. The ANS has several components:

Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): Activates the body’s fight‑or‑flight response during perceived danger[3].
Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): Promotes rest, digestion and healing, enabling you to relax[3].
Ventral Vagal System: A branch of the vagus nerve identified by polyvagal theory. It mediates social engagement, connection and feelings of safety[3].

Polyvagal theory proposes that the nervous system is hierarchical: safety and connection (ventral vagal) allow for relaxation; danger triggers fight‑or‑flight (sympathetic); overwhelming threat leads to shutdown or freeze (dorsal vagal). Understanding these states helps explain why dysregulation feels like constant anxiety, numbness or swinging between extremes. Trauma, chronic stress and unmet needs can trap the body in survival states[3].

When I first learned about the ventral vagal system, it felt like someone had just explained my whole life. Suddenly my collapse into people‑pleasing or numbness made sense, not as a personal failure, but as a biological response. Naming these states gave me permission to meet my body with curiosity rather than critique. You might feel that relief too.

Signs and Symptoms of a Dysregulated Nervous System

Recognising dysregulation is the first step. Symptoms can vary:

Physical signs: racing heart, chest tightness, digestive trouble, headaches, muscle tension, fatigue or sleep difficulties[1].
Emotional signs: anxiety, irritability, panic attacks, feeling detached, mood swings or depression[1].
Cognitive signs: brain fog, poor concentration, indecision, intrusive thoughts and memory problems[2].
Behavioural signs: difficulty relaxing, need to stay busy, social withdrawal, emotional eating or reliance on caffeine/alcohol[1].

These aren’t character flaws; they’re nervous‑system strategies. Your body is trying to keep you safe, even if the responses no longer serve you. When we stop labeling ourselves as “too much” or “overreacting” and instead see these signals as data, shame loosens its grip and healing becomes possible.

If you experience persistent or worsening symptoms, consult a healthcare professional; underlying medical conditions like thyroid disorders or hormonal imbalances can contribute[1].

What Causes Nervous‑System Dysregulation?

Potential causes of nervous system dysregulations

Several factors can disrupt the ANS:

Acute or chronic trauma. Traumatic experiences can lock the system into survival mode, causing hyperarousal or shutdown[3].
Chronic stress and burnout. Ongoing demands such as work stress, caregiving, financial worries, keep the SNS engaged and deplete parasympathetic tone[1].
Sleep deprivation and circadian disruption. Insufficient sleep impedes the brain’s ability to clear toxins and rebalance hormones[4].
Nutritional imbalances and blood‑sugar swings. Highly processed foods, excessive caffeine and irregular meals aggravate dysregulation[4].
Illness, chronic pain or inflammation. These conditions signal danger to the brain, keeping stress circuits activated.
Substance misuse. Alcohol and stimulants may provide temporary relief but ultimately impair neural communication and worsen dysregulation[4].
Attachment patterns and relational stress. Insecure attachment or unsupportive environments can impair co‑regulation and vagal tone. This is rarely addressed in mainstream posts.

In the stories I hear every day, these root causes are often wrapped in self‑blame. Women tell me, “I should be over this by now.” But nothing is wrong with you for still spiraling after therapy; your nervous system simply learned that safety meant shrinking, appeasing or disappearing. Recognising these origins lets us shift from self‑policing to self‑compassion and precision.

Evidence‑Based Therapies for Nervous‑System Regulation

Evidence-Based Interventions for nervous system regulation

Professional therapies can help retrain the nervous system. If you’ve ever wondered why therapy didn’t “fix” you, it’s not because you’re doing it wrong. Talk therapy builds awareness, but nervous‑system work gives you access. The following interventions have research support or clinical evidence.

Cognitive‑Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps identify and reframe catastrophic thoughts that fuel stress and anxiety. By challenging unhelpful beliefs and practicing coping skills, CBT reduces sympathetic arousal and improves emotion regulation[2].

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is an eight‑phase therapy for processing traumatic memories. It involves bilateral stimulation (eye movements, tapping or sounds) while recalling distressing events. The process helps the brain reprocess trauma so triggers no longer evoke intense stress[2][3].

Somatic Experiencing and Other Body‑Oriented Therapies

Somatic therapy focuses on bodily sensations rather than retelling trauma. It gently guides you to notice and release trapped survival energy, restoring the nervous system’s capacity to self‑regulate[3]. Other somatic approaches include internal family systems (IFS) for working with inner parts, sensorimotor psychotherapy and Alexander Technique.

Mindfulness‑Based Therapies and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)

Mindfulness practices teach you to observe thoughts and sensations without judgment, interrupting stress spirals[2]. DBT combines mindfulness with cognitive and behavioural techniques to improve emotional regulation and distress tolerance. Both approaches strengthen vagal tone and foster resilience.

Polyvagal‑Informed Therapy and Safe‑and‑Sound Protocol

Some clinicians integrate polyvagal theory into therapy, using exercises that stimulate the ventral vagal system (e.g., prosody, music, safe social cues) to cultivate safety. The Safe‑and‑Sound Protocol uses filtered music to engage social‑engagement circuits and reduce sensitivity to threat.

Lifestyle Practices for Self‑Regulation

Healing a dysregulated nervous system is an ongoing process. The following lifestyle interventions support nervous‑system health and complement professional care.

Optimise Sleep and Circadian Rhythms

Aim for seven to nine hours of uninterrupted sleep. Sleep allows the brain to clear metabolic waste and reset stress circuits[4].
Expose your eyes to natural sunlight in the morning to anchor your circadian rhythm; minimise exposure to bright light and screens in the evening[4].
Avoid heavy meals, caffeine and alcohol in the hours before bedtime[4].
Establish a consistent sleep schedule and calming pre‑sleep ritual (journaling, stretching or reading)[1].

Nourish Your Body

Eat nutrient‑dense foods. Whole foods rich in vitamins, minerals, omega‑3 fats and antioxidants support brain health[4]. Include leafy greens, nuts, seeds, fish, legumes, colourful vegetables and fermented foods.
Maintain blood‑sugar balance. Combine complex carbohydrates with protein and healthy fats at each meal to prevent spikes and crashes[4].
Stay hydrated. Even mild dehydration can increase stress hormone levels and impair cognitive function[2].
Limit alcohol and stimulants. Alcohol disrupts neural communication and worsens dysregulation[4]. Excess caffeine keeps the nervous system in high alert. Opt for herbal teas or adaptogenic drinks instead.

Move Your Body Mindfully

Movement helps discharge stress hormones and promotes healthy vagal tone. Choose activities you enjoy:

Somatic exercises: gentle shaking, stretching, pendulum sways or self‑hugs reconnect you with bodily sensations[4].
Moderate aerobic activity: walking, jogging, dancing, cycling or swimming elevate endorphins and improve mood[4].
Yoga, Tai Chi and Qi Gong: these practices combine movement, breath and mindfulness, reducing cortisol and improving emotional awareness[4].
Proprioceptive activities: weight‑bearing exercises (push‑ups, squats), resistance training, crawling or carrying heavy objects stimulate deep pressure receptors and calm the nervous system[4].
Nature and forest bathing: spending time outdoors lowers heart rate and cortisol while boosting serotonin[4].

Breathwork and Vocal Practices

Breath and vocalisation directly influence vagal tone:

Diaphragmatic breathing: inhale slowly through the nose, letting your abdomen expand; exhale through the mouth while lengthening the out‑breath[4]. This simple practice signals safety and reduces cortisol[1].
Box breathing: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four and hold again for four. Used by Arbor Wellness to reset trauma‑affected systems[3].
Chanting, singing or humming: vocalisation stimulates the vagus nerve and transitions the system from fight‑or‑flight to rest‑and‑digest[4].
Vagus‑nerve soothing exercises: gargling, laughing, om‑ing or making “sss” sounds engage the vagus nerve[4].

Sensory and Relaxation Resets

Reduce overstimulation and give your senses restorative breaks:

Digital detox and tech‑free time: frequent notifications and blue‑light exposure overstimulate the brain; schedule periods without screens, especially before bedtime[4].
Aromatherapy: scents such as lavender, citrus or coffee beans can suppress stress markers[4].
Massage and bodywork: massage improves circulation, reduces stress hormones and activates parasympathetic responses[4].
Epsom‑salt baths: warm baths with magnesium‑rich salts may ease muscle tension and support mood[4].
Cold plunges: brief exposure to cold water may invigorate the system and support metabolism; start gently and monitor your response[4].

Relational and Emotional Support

Humans heal through connection. Your nervous system co‑regulates with those around you:

Establish safety and boundaries. Predictable routines and clear boundaries create a sense of security[3].
Cultivate supportive relationships. Spending time with caring people helps your nervous system calibrate and find balance[3]. Pets can also provide soothing co‑regulation[2].
Heal attachment patterns. Insecure attachment can impair regulation. Therapeutic modalities such as attachment‑focused EMDR, emotionally focused therapy and developmental trauma treatment help build secure attachment.
Group therapy and co‑regulation circles. Group healing experiences allow you to practice presence and connection in a safe environment[3].

Trauma‑Specific Approaches

Trauma profoundly affects the nervous system. Beyond therapy and lifestyle changes, consider these trauma‑specific strategies:

Somatic experiencing or trauma‑sensitive yoga to release trapped energy and restore regulation[3].
Mindful movement in nature such as walking, tai chi or yoga outdoors, to gently engage both body and environment[3].
Sensory grounding techniques: the 5‑4‑3‑2‑1 exercise (identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell and one you can taste) anchors you in the present and calms your system[3].
Nutrition and sleep optimisation: anti‑inflammatory foods, regular meals, hydration and consistent sleep patterns are critical for trauma recovery[3].
Measure progress not by eliminating symptoms but by increasing your capacity to tolerate emotions, returning to baseline more easily, improving presence and self‑compassion and expanding your repertoire of regulation skills[3].

Putting It All Together: A Personalised Healing Plan

Creating your personalized nervous system support plan

The nervous system heals through repeated experiences of safety, connection and regulation. The following steps provide a structured approach:

Create a safe foundation. Address immediate stressors, ensure basic needs (housing, food, sleep) are met and build a support network. Seek professional help if trauma or mental‑health conditions are present.
Learn about your nervous system. Understanding sympathetic and parasympathetic states and how your body responds empowers you to intervene sooner. Notice early signs of dysregulation (e.g., clenched jaw, racing thoughts) and practice self‑compassion rather than judgment.
Establish daily rituals. Implement regular sleep and meal times, morning light exposure, breathwork sessions and movement practices. Use gentle breathwork or vagus‑nerve exercises whenever you feel tension.
Incorporate weekly resets. Schedule tech‑free afternoons, nature walks, massages or baths, group classes (yoga, Tai Chi) and therapy sessions. Rotate practices to keep them engaging.
Address trauma and attachment patterns. Work with a trauma‑informed therapist to process past experiences, develop secure attachment and integrate somatic modalities. Attend group therapy or support circles to practice co‑regulation.
Monitor progress and adjust. Journal your symptoms, energy levels and mood to identify patterns. Celebrate small victories such as longer windows of calm, less reactivity, and refine your plan accordingly.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

How long does it take to heal a dysregulated nervous system?

There is no universal timeline. Recovery depends on the type and duration of trauma, individual sensitivity, available support and ongoing stressors[3]. Some people notice shifts within months, while others need years. Focus on incremental progress rather than speed.

Can I heal my nervous system without therapy?

Lifestyle changes like sleep, nutrition, movement, breathwork and social support can significantly improve regulation. However, professional therapy is highly recommended for unresolved trauma or persistent dysregulation, as it provides specialised tools and a safe environment.

Is occasional anxiety normal or a sign of dysregulation?

Anxiety is a normal response to real stressors. Dysregulation is characterised by chronic or disproportionate anxiety, numbness, irritability or other symptoms even when there is no immediate threat[1].

What role does the vagus nerve play in healing?

The vagus nerve is the main communicator of the parasympathetic system. Stimulating it through deep breathing, humming, singing and gargling activates the rest‑and‑digest response[4], helping you feel safe and calm.

Do dietary supplements help?

Nutritional supplements (magnesium, omega‑3s, B‑vitamins, adaptogens) may support nervous‑system health but should be used with medical guidance. Whole foods and balanced meals are the foundation of nourishment[4].

Why are social connections so important?

Human nervous systems co‑regulate; being with calm, supportive people helps your body return to balance[3]. Conversely, isolation or toxic relationships can trigger or prolong dysregulation.

Can exercise make dysregulation worse?

Intense exercise may spike cortisol in sensitive individuals. Start with gentle or moderate movement such as walking, yoga or dancing[1]; build up gradually and listen to your body.

By this point, you may be noticing a pattern. Healing a dysregulated nervous system isn’t about finding the perfect technique. It’s about having enough repeated experiences of safety, support, and regulation for your body to learn something new. Insight helps you understand what’s happening. Practice helps your nervous system trust that change is possible.

For many people, the hardest part isn’t learning these tools. It’s remembering to use them when you’re activated, overwhelmed, or alone. Regulation doesn’t happen in isolation. Nervous systems heal through relationship, co-regulation, and spaces where you don’t have to explain or justify what your body is doing.

That’s where ongoing support becomes essential. Not because you’re failing, but because your nervous system was never meant to heal by willpower alone.

Join Homecoming & The Nest

The Nest and Homecoming Journey: A Roadmap to Self-Discovery and Community Support

If you’re craving a space to practice these skills in community, I’d love to invite you into my world. The Nest is a free, warm community where therapy‑experienced women come together for co‑regulation, nervous‑system‑based support and belonging during the 167 hours between therapy sessions. It’s a place to be seen without performing and to learn how to turn sensitivity into precision.

For those ready for deeper work, Homecoming is my coaching program that bridges the gap between insight and embodiment. It’s where we translate the information you’ve gathered in therapy into felt safety and self‑trust. Homecoming isn’t about becoming someone new, it’s about coming home to yourself with gentle guidance. You’ll learn to recognise your patterns in real time, regulate your nervous system and practise new responses alongside a supportive group of women.

If this article speaks to you, consider dipping your toe into The Nest or exploring Homecoming when you’re ready. You deserve to heal surrounded by people who understand the messy middle and celebrate your return to yourself.

Barbara Guimaraes, LMSW

I'm Barbara, a licensed therapist (LMSW) and the founder of Mental Nesting. I help sensitive adults who grew up too fast reconnect with their inner wisdom and build unshakeable self-trust. My approach combines clinical training with lived experience navigating trauma, bipolar disorder, and the beautiful mess of healing.

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